Military Jokes Military Humor

StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

Staff officers say the strangest things..... (UNCLASSIFIED) Part V

"They also serve, who sit and surf the NIPR (the Department of Defense's private internet)."� �CPT (CENTCOM)

"I hear so much about Ft. Bragg. Where is it?"�

"It's in the western part of southeastern North�Carolina."�� LCDR and CPT (EUCOM)

"I've become the master of nodding my head and acting�like I give a sh!t, and then instantly forgetting what�the hell a person was saying the moment�they walk away."� �Flag-level Executive Assistant

"Mark my words, this internet thing is gonna catch on�someday."� �LTC (EUCOM)

"You're not a loser. You're just not my kind of�winner..."� �GS-14 (OSD)

"He who strives for the minimum rarely attains it."� �GS-12 (DOS)

"I'm tired of waiting on somebody who I know is just�going to ignore me once they arrive." Lt Col (EUCOM),� while waiting to start a brief for a visiting�VIP

"If I'd had more time, I'da written a shorter�brief..."� �Derived from the writings of Mark Twain
�

�"Vision without funding is hallucination."� �Maj (EUCOM)

"I work at EUCOM. I know bullsh!t when I see it."� �LTC (EUCOM) in a game of office poker

"You only know as much as you don't know."� �GO (EUCOM)

"I'm just livin' the dream..."� �EUCOM staffer response to the question, "How's it�going?" or, "What are you�doing?"

"I'm just ranting...I have nothing useful to say."� �LTC (EUCOM)

"Why would an enemy want to bomb this place and end�all the confusion?"� �GS-14 (EUCOM)

"How soon before we can give this guy a medal, a good�OER, and send him on his way?" GS-12 (EUCOM) referring�to his boss

"Other than the fact that there's no beer, an early�curfew and women that wear face coverings for a�reason, Kabul is really a wonderful place to�visit." LTC (CENTCOM)

"It was seen, visually."� �LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing

"Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a�staff..."
"This should be a short conversation."
LtCol to Lt Col (EUCOM)

"If you want to take down a country, gimme a call.��We'll get it done." GO/FO� �(EUCOM) to a gathering of US Amba$$adors

"Hello gentlemen. Are we in today or are you just�ignoring my request?"� �GS-15 (DSCA) in an email to EUCOM staffers

"After seeing the way this place works, I bet that�Mickey Mouse wears a EUCOM watch." Maj (EUCOM)