Military Jokes Military Humor

StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

Staff officers say the strangest things..... (UNCLASSIFIED) Part VII

"I'm planning on taking the weekend off...notionally..."�� LT (EUCOM) midway through a huge, simulated command exercise

"'Leaning forward' is really just the first phase of 'falling on your face.'"�� Col (MARFOREUR)

"I've heard of 'buzzwords' before but I have never experienced a 'buzz sentence' or a 'buzz paragraph' until today." Maj (EUCOM) after listening to a JFCOM trainer/mentor

"We've got to start collaborating between the collaboration systems."�
"Our plan for the Olympics is to take all the ops and put it in the special room we have developed for ops." GO/FO (EUCOM)

"Did you hear that they're canning Bob Edwards on NPR?"��
"Why? Did they catch him standing up for the National Anthem or something??"�� COL to CDR (EUCOM)
"Not to be uncooperative, but we're just being uncooperative." CDR (EUCOM) in an email response to a request for information

�"We're from the nuke shop, sir. We're the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about ..." LtCol to GO/FO (EUCOM) in briefings

"We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing." Anonymous, but classic...

"The 'L' in CENTCOM stands for leadership..."

"At this Command, we have written in large, black letters: DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on the back of our security badges."�� Maj (CENTCOM)

"He cloaked himself in an impenetrable veneer of terminology." Lt Col (JFCOM) describing the JFCOM� alpha male

"Transformation has long been the buzzword for those that are dispossessed, dispirited and disillusioned..." Chaplain (EUCOM),� allegedly talking about the Disciples...

"There are more disconnects on this issue than CENTCOM has staff officers."�� GO/FO (EUCOM)

"Is that a Navy or a Marine admiral?"�� MAJ (EUCOM)