Military Jokes Military Humor

StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

Combat Never Forgets

Once you are in the fight, it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
It is a fact that helicopter tail rotors are instinctively drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be possible to ward off this natural event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do.
NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other guy.
Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover you.
Letters from home are not always great.
The madness of war can extract a heavy toll. Please have exact change.
Share everything. Even the Pound Cake.
Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
The further away you are from your friends, the less likely it is that they can help you when you really need them the most.
Sometimes, being good and lucky still was not enough. There is always payback.
"Chicken Plates" (bullet proof plates for flak jackets) are not something you order in a restaurant.
If everything is as clear as a bell, and everything is going exactly as planned, you're about to be surprised.
If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Visit the head when you can. The next opportunity may not come around for a long time. If ever.
Combat pay is a flawed concept.
Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
When you shoot your gun, clean it the first chance you get.
Loud sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations, which, in turn is better than cold C-rations, which is better than no food at all. WHAT is often more important than WHY.
Girlfriends are fair game. Wives are not.
Everybody's a hero on the ground in the club after the fourth drink.
There is no such thing as a small firefight.
A free-fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
The only medal you really want to be awarded is the Longevity Medal.
There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the Rules.
While a Super Bomb could be considered one of the four essential building blocks of life, powdered eggs cannot.
C-4 (plastic explosives) can make a dull day fun.
Cocoa Powder (found in field rations) is neither. Always make sure someone has a P-38 (compact can opener).
Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac, even if this is technically a form of flying.