For the dish
Spam -- one can
Oranges
Eggs

Mars Bars
Pomegranates

Remove Spam from can
Peel several oranges and pomegranates
Crack several eggs and discard the shells -- reserve the whites and yolks in any convenient container
Unwrap several Mars Bars

Combine the main ingredients in a cooking vessel -- an old army helmet works nicely
Cook the mixture over an open fire -- wood works best, but dried camel dung will do nicely
Meanwhile, melt the Mars bars in a smaller cooking vessel -- a spent 50mm cartridge will do
When the main ingredients are done -- they should have the consistency of semi-dried mud,
turn into a serving platter -- a convenient hub cap will do.
Dribble the Mars sauce over the Spam, and garnish with pomegranate seeds.

Serve immediately